Sugar High

Kids on sugar should be monitored closely, I however am not a good guard at that gate. Instead I am currently watching "The Princess and The Frog" with two sobbing children coming off a serious sugar high.

I made my triumphant return to twitter today, and quiet frankly overwhelmed. There is no way I can read a month worth of tweets, so sorry twitter folk, I am just picking it up from now.

Cute line of that night, two year old Allison saying she wanted to sit next to me because "she just loves me so much". Makes the wailing slightly less agitating.

Happy Easter all!

Engagement Season

Another one bites the dust, I say this clearly as a joke because I am in fact very happy for my friends who are currently getting engaged. But what is it about late March/early April that sends people marching down the aisle. I get the Christmas/New Years engagements but I guess it could be that a lot of people start dating in the start of spring when we head out of winter hibernation so this I guess could explain the phenomenon. I've had 4 friends get engaged in the last two weekends.

It makes me begin to wonder, since college I have not dated 1 person for longer then about two weeks. Does this mean I have relationship ADD or perhaps am too judgy or impatient to just let things flow? I don't know, but being the girl that everyone thought would get married first I am certainly no where close to the top half of my friends. Am I happy or sad I have made that kind of commitment yet? I am not really sure. I feel immediately happy when my friends announce their engagements and then there is a bit of a sense of dread that I am perpetually single. I mean to be honest I would love to be at that stage in my life right now, but for whatever reason things just didn't go as planned. So instead I fall into the always the bridesmaid never the bride category as of late.

I can sympathize with the lead character in 27 dresses. For much of my adult life I have been in love with two people, both who I will never be with, so instead I have spent most of my time talking myself out of other relationships and keeping myself busy just helping other people get married. I have pointed out that I am in fact "Good Luck Chuck" every guy I have dated from high school on has married the girl he dated after me. Does this make me a lucky charm, a cursed person? I don't know. Needless to say for a girl who works at a Psychology School I certainly could take a trip down the hall to get this all sorted out.

But then there is the stubborn Irish woman in me that says, wait a tick, maybe I am just fine the way I am and haven't found Mr. Right. That could be in fact correct, but needless to say if I see one more status change on Facebook I might die... (okay that's dramatic) But it is starting to stink being in the back of the pack, my friends are entering a new and awesome stage in their adult life and they want to be friends with people in the same stage of life. I have seen it before with my older brothers friends. The few friends of his who are not married with kids yet feel somewhat left behind in perpetual young adulthood, (which I believe does have it's perks), but can end up looking like one of my second cousins who is 50+ and still acts 20 looking for the next gig (his photography career is still almost "taking off") and the next beer.

So on this Easter Eve, I ask all my readers out there (all 2-4) what are your thoughts on this subject, do you get excited when friends get engaged? Do you get enraged? Depressed? All I know is that I wish I had the excuse that my thriving career was taking up my time, instead my only excuse is I like to go out and get loaded with my friends (which I will never regret!).

So you thought I forgot did you...

Well I almost did but have now fear, I am here to blog you into boredom.

Last night I once again went out for some adult beverages with girl friends from work, only this time we stayed classy and went to a great river north Irish bar called The Kerryman. Lucky for us (and them) the beer special was too good to pass up. So we stayed, we drank, we judged girls going to Manor on a Thursday night looking like 10 cent hookers. Our waiter, who I called River due to his resemblance to the late actor River Phoenix, was a peach! Cute and chivalrous, he saved me from a near epic fall. Classic.

This afternoon we went to our new favorite Friday lunch spot Mafia Salads. No it's not really called Mafia salads we just call it that because it looks like it's front for some seedy extra curricular activities. Needless to say they make great salads, or if you are me a delicious "Grown Up" grilled cheese. We proceeded to people watch and I explained my mother's tendency to make up back stories for people she is people watching. For example, when we were kids and my parent would take us to Royals or Chiefs games my mom would tell us that all the concessions people were actually families and that the O'Riley family used to be the beer people but then they all had a drinking problem so now they are on peanut duty. And this explains why I grew up to be such a people watching enthusiast and can make up a back story for my fake alter-ego when out and about on town in moments.

We also discussed sibling fights and how entertaining they are especially as you age. We all agreed that the pinch and twist or the leg hair pull are the only way to combat older brothers and that we still get in silly fights with our siblings to this day. My older brother Joe and I got in to a fight a couple years ago (he was probably 23 and I was 21) over the remote and like the adults we were at the time I ran away with the remote with him in hot pursuit (mind you there is a tv in every damn room of my parents house.) Forgetting that my mom had just had the carpets cleaned we sailed through the living room in socked feet and proceed to continue on into the kitchen and boom, flat backed, cut to the both of us lying on the kitchen floor the remote in pieces. Needless to say I don't think siblings ever grow up.

Today its out to dinner with Emily and Kiera and then tomorrow I am out to Naperthrill to hang with my cousin and her kids one last time for Chicago Easter. There is no doubt hilarity will ensue.

All of that Rescue 911 as a kid has really paid off...

Happy April Fools, I haven't fallen for one yet but I know I am bound to. Quick post today since yesterdays might as well been the gospel from Easter Vigil Mass (Zing to all my Catholics out there).

Last night an incredible thing happened to me. I was minding my own business getting sauced on the patio at Mystic Celt when all of a sudden the guy at the table next me just kind of collapses and goes stiff, almost like he is having a seizure. Instead of being a yelling bystander like the rest of the patio I actually jumped into action calling 911 and relaying the man's condition to the very bitchy and not very calming dispatcher. Lucky for my patient there was a doctor on the other side of the patio and a nurse walking her dog by so they took over, therefore I didn't have to go into full Grey's Anatomy mode and preform an impromptu tracheotomy since that's what the do in those shows. Needless to say I was glowing from my good Samaritan role the rest of the night.

This morning I have already had my people watching moment. Chatchie Mc Doucherson hopped on the 22 bus right behind me this morning with his white on light grey seersucker suit (not memorial day yet pal) suit and Louis Vuitton briefcase and appeared to be yelling at me. I quickly realized it was not in fact me he was yelling at he was yelling at someone on his Bluetooth headset (I would personal like to slap the person who invented those). Of course of the 9 gazillion seats on the bus he choses to sit right next to me. He proceeds to yell about 26.78 that Comcast had put on his bill. I was like really that 27.00 set you back so much that you feel the need to berate the poor Comcast (only time I will ever use this) person. He then got pissed when a guy accidentally brushed his briefcase against Chatchie's shoulder. He stood up and yelled in the guys face to watch it and to try saying excuse me once in a while, he then yelled at the Comcast lady that he wasn't talking to her. When I went to exit the bus I made sure all three of my bags accidentally hit him in the face and stepped on his toe. He yelled I didn't look back or apologize I feel better about my day already.

I am back and this time it's for good.

So I made the big decision, I am headed back to Kansas City and Grad School in a few weeks and I must say not even the glorious return to spring Chicago is making currently is making me want to stay.

I was reading back through old post and decided that now that I will have more time and less disposable income I will have to start entertaining myself on the cheap and therefore I think blogging is a great way to start. I also watched Julie and Julia, pretty reluctantly I must say, but I myself am very much like Julie, a creative spirit who also happens to be a non-completer. So inspired by her effort to blog for 365 days I too am going to try to make this a daily routine. All two of my readers will most certainly laugh at this as they have followed this hodge-podge blog for sometime now and know how many times I have promised to blog more and then disappeared for 6-8 months.

In the spirit of changing some bad habits I will also be completing several things beyond this blog. Some of which include: my website, portfolio, and maybe a painting or two. All things I have been promising to do but never quite completed. I figure besides a lucrative nannying job and school I will have a much calmer social life so these things should fit in a wee bit better.

Another change I plan to make is to try to save up for my very own piece of the American Pie. This might come in the form a house, condo, or most likely trailer, but never the less I want to own someplace I can make my own. I have never been one for budgeting (see non-completer, active social life, and general lack self control in any of my blogs) so this will be a particularly hard task to complete. But I refuse to watch (ok maybe refuse is harsh) another design tv show or read a design blog and want to do something only to realize I will have to undo it in 6-12 months.

Most importantly I will be highlighting the more fun people watching side of this blog. People make for good blogging and I consider myself a stellar people-watcher. (I got it from my mom). When I people watch I don't just observe them in the natural habitat but start to form whole life stories for these people (also blame my mother for that one). Its part of the crazy overactive imagination I formed as a kid. I am utterly fascinated by people. What they do, say, think and most importantly wear.

For example today was the first day above frigid coldness in several months in Chicago, so I marched with my brown bag lunch (budget queen here) my copy of Catcher in the Rye (one of the things I never completed) to the river front to enjoy the glorious outdoors/ laugh at people in flip flops already. I was thoroughly enjoying the momentary solitude when click, click, click in came the stiletto crowd of PR ninnies with their matching salads with really smelly balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I know, I know, to them I probably looked like the side braided, Salinger reading, lame PB&J eating hipster, but i mean really we are all clinches in some way right. So I tried to block out the smell and ridiculous complaints over salary (ladies FYI 70,000.00 starting is about 35,000.00 more than I make after four years), and read my book and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. But I couldn't help but listen in on this conversation that got more outrageous as it went on. The girl in the center of the convo, let's call her Poppy (sounds uppity but you are forming a picture in your mind that fits, right?), who was really ticked that she was so under-payed, revealed that she had only been out of school for two months... I almost slapped her. Instead I looked at my cell phone (I never where a watch, never have probably never will) and realized my hour of freedom was up. Thank God. No battery charges or dropped salads.

So there is my people watch of the day, 12 more days of working for the man before freedom sets in. Wish me luck. (and by working for the man I should point out that I am mostly just making mix CDs for my friends instead of working...)

you can't always get what you want.

Great song, great message. I haven't blogged in over a year but am about to embark on some pretty drastic life changes in the coming months and thought why not blog about it. Thats what a blog is for right? Sorting feelings, updating the world on your inner turmoil, helping you to better understand why you do things or don't do things. I will warn you, this isn't my normal funny observation of life, this is not that, but it is what it is and I hope you will still read.

Looking back at my previous posts it is clear to anyone that I have had a great time living here in Chicago for the past 8 years. In an average week I laugh about a million times, I have endless access to culture and new experiences at my finger tips, I have great friends, and I live in a city that is both huge and small all at once. One might ask me, why are you even considering giving all of that up? I once had a good friend that told me "it doesn't matter how many great things you have in your life you will always want something unobtainable and it will drive you nuts. You have to sacrifice and sometimes that is just too hard to do." It's the whole theory behind the Rolling Stones song, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." That's the answer to the question why am I giving up what I have in Chicago. I am getting what I need. I need a career that means more than a paycheck, I need a life close to the people that matter the most, my family, and most importantly I need to grow up.

Most people don't get what its like going to school in a big city like Chicago, New York or L.A. and then immediately going to work in that same city. I always tell my friends who say I am crazy for wanting to trade Chicago for Kansas City the same thing "I have lived Chicago out, what you all forget is that while you were in Lawrence, Columbia, Manhattan, wherever I was here and have been here for 8 years." Imagine for one moment living in your college town for the rest of your life (no matter how big or small) it makes it hard to move on and gain new experiences.

In the end I honestly don't know what I will do, I know I have to make a decision in December, there is a lot on the table, moving back home and starting grad school, staying here and working another year at a meaningless job just to try and live out college for one more year, or who knows the peace corps have been looking good at the moment.

The bottom line is this, I am stuck, stuck in a meaningless redundant life. I do the same thing every damn day for no greater purpose or meaning. That my friends is one thing that I don't want to continue. I need something to change, I need something worth living in the redundancy, I may not be able to get what I want but I sure as hell hope to get what I need.

Thoughts, opinions, questions all are welcome.

"Anyone else think the Kanye sunglasses are kinda stupid? If I see any more hipster 12-year-olds with them I'm going to step on them."-Rex Chekal

Lollapalooza weekend, one of my favorite added bonuses of living in Chicago is the cost effective opportunity to see a lot of the bands I enjoy hearing right in the comfort of my backyard. Unfortunately the cold hard truth of being 25 hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend as I walked through a crowd hating on every day glow teeshirt, american apparel flashy tub top, and frat dog teeshirts wanting to take each person out preferably with the ability to snap my fingers and make them disappear or at least mute. Knowing I didn't want to drink and be hungover and hot for three days also proved as Helen E. would say "we are too old for this shit" but also provided an opportunity for me to better study great new bands out there.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate all hipsters and Kanye West lovers/ neon enthusiast, I just hate every trend done to an extreme. (Ehhmmm Girlicious Blayne from Project Runway anyone) I do hate annoying teens that mosh during Wilco or disregard basic festival etiquette. If you want to come hang with the big kids, do some research. Know the type of crowd that hits up certain shows, know that when you and your 5 best girlfriends plow through the crowd of people who have been waiting for hours to see a show (all the while screeching at the top of the lungs) know that I will want to trip you up for your complete lack of respect.

Now I am not some grinch who doesn't respect the fact that I was once an annoying teen out of my league. But I would have had to save for months to come to this sort of event (and still do). I also wouldn't waste the experience by getting so wasted in 90* heat that I have to be carried out of a crowd.

Ok stepping off the soap box to give you my highlights for the weekend:

* Gogol Bordello, Yeasayer, Jamie Lidell, Wilco and Radiohead had some of the top shows in my opinion.
* I saw a teeshirt that read "Too fat to be a hipster", I immediately wanted to barter for the shirt of the kids back.
* The porta-potties weren't unbearable and the lines weren't ridiculous.
* I was impressed with the recycling efforts and the fair priced food, drinks, and water.
*Fireworks during "Fake Plastic Trees" incredible.
* All the parents that brought their little ones, what an awesome experience and kuddos to putting up with kids in the heat to educate your children about great music.
* Rage Against the Machine's Zack de la Rocha telling people to chill the f' out because it was completely unnecessary to tear shit up, in fact its just meat-head of you to do.
* Bands thanking Radiohead for the big crowds, hilarious, slightly sarcastic and yet genuinely respectful.
*Bloc Party's lead singer wearing a Obama teeshirt.
* And finally Perry for putting this whole concept in motion and having it in Chicago, gives all us midwest folk a chance to hear some great music in a great venue.