And I've Got It

I told you I would be back with hilarity as soon as I found it, and boy have I found it.

You know when you are a kid and your mom has the willys about one of your friends. Even at the age of 5 there was a friend of mine that my mom just knew would grow up to be trouble. Like my brother's friend who grew up to own a rent by the hour motel, or that friend of my other brother who ended up in jail after a huge fight in college. Mom's just have that radar. They spot a wild child and try to nip it in the butt before you get involved.

My mother always called me a magnet for these people. She blames names (all matthews are disruptive in classrooms, all girls named after gem stones end up in trouble with the law) these observations come from years as a behavior specialist in grade schools. I can remember one of my first non-catholic school friends Crystal (my mom told me there was always a crystal or jade getting me in trouble). Crystal's grandma lived next to us and she was bad news, she used to smoke cigarettes (i don't think she inhaled) behind the garage at seriously age 6 or 7. She is now the mother of 5 (at 23) none of which are in her custody.


But I digress, this all came to mind when I was catching up with a grade school friend over the weekend. We talked about where people were and what they were up to. Then Haley came up, one of our grade school pals who's house we'd go to when we wanted to watch MTV or stay up late. Haley had the cool mom that never wanted to look uncool in front of us. Haley is now a stripper in Vegas, all those tap lessons came in handy.

Then there was Katy, her dad had playboys and her mom gave us free reign. We watched inappropriate movies, stayed up way to late and i don't think ever ate a meal there (it was always cupcakes or candy). I think she follows Phish these days, since the break up I have not heard anymore about her.

The bottom line is all those kids my mom warned me about she was right. These aren't bad people, and they weren't bad kids, they just were never up to any good. As I look back now I can see why mom didn't want me to go to Shannon's house because her mom was having an affair with so and so's dad and let us drink in 7th grade.

The lesson in this be careful what you name your kids. Jayden James will be one wild boy when he grows up!