A little more than a year later any wiser?

Where to begin... Well for starters I am the worlds worst blogger, in fact I am surprised I even try, but I do love reading my entries and I recollecting about times I have actually managed to record on this here blog thingy. So alas I will try again.

So what's in a year. Apparently a lot, for starters I moved home to the sprawling metropolis that is Kansas City, Missouri. I can honestly say it's the best decision I've made in years. I started and will complete my Masters in Education in December. I just got a job teaching Art to K-8 graders in a small Catholic School (super pumped for the hilarity that will no doubt ensue). And of course continued down my rapid road towards train wreck city. As I sit now I am currently resting on on cheek as I seemed to have bruised/broken my tail bone in a wee slip off a diving board after enjoying a few beer-skies at some local establishments. Kids do not drink and dive... no really don't. I am actually incredibly lucky I didn't do anything worse. Perhaps another self imposed hiatus? Only time will tell.

I have been enjoying an incredible group of girl friends who are just as crazy and carefree as me. We have been on Slam-Piece Mission 2k11 all summer, consider it an extension of Mission Make-Out or Destination Robert Downey Jr., or any other boy crazy period in my life. I must say I am enjoying it, meeting a variety of intriguing men who range in height, style, and just about everything else. I can honestly say this Summer has been one of the most fun in my life, even with the sad postponement of my Australia Trip due to the new job.

Most of all I must say the biggest perk of my return is getting to spend all the time I want with this little nugget:

My niece Mary Jane. I know and have read all the stories about people falling in love with their children the moment they are born, and for once I actually agree with a cliche. I have loved this little lady since the days she was born and continue to only love her more as I see her personality develop into a little person. She literally makes my day on a regular basis and I can't imagine being 9 hours away from her.

So yes this was an abbreviated sum up of oh about 15 months but you get the picture. Until next time, which will hopefully not be in 15 months, adios compadres.

I have an excuse...

Don't I always. This time it's a keeper though. I was blacked out most of the weekend and therefor unable to blog for all you ladies and gents. My big going away party was in fact a big success. I don't remember signing out my tab or anything that followed but I know I had a great time and that is thanks to my fantastic crop of crazy friends I have here in this delightful city.

Other highlights from the weekend- The return of beloved nose piercing, now that I am a student again I can pull it off, my entire 6 hour love-fest with RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. That's right I watched RuPaul's Drag Race for 6 full hours and don't regret one moment of it. Okay so I was hungover and completely unable to reach for the remote in my state but I loved this show. Everyone knows I love a good Drag Queen, after living in Boystown for two years I have witnessed more knock down drag (no pun intended) out fights, big boobs, and running mascara, it felt like I was watching my version of "Who Are The People in Your Neighborhood". Ru you are fierce and I love everything about you especially when your tag line is "Don't Fuck this Up." A little harsher then Tim Gunn's "Make it Work" but I love it and you.

Now suffering from the infamous two day hang over I will retire from typing as my brain most certainly will explode. As Ru would say it's time for me to "Sashay Away".

A day at the races... well sort of.

So last night as noted I attended a Lost watch party at a local bar. What I failed to remember until I was literally sitting there 3 hours early with a miller lite (it was a special, not my choice) that this bar was in fact an off track betting establishment. So as I waited for Kiera I surveyed the scene, and boy was it a scene. The split was about 50/50 day traders and slightly homeless looking people. I was the youngest by at least 20 years. So far this Lost party seemed to have lost me.

As Kiera arrived and surveyed the scene we tried using one of her new I-phone apps that allows you to take several pictures with anyone noticing because it looks like you are talking on your phone. Needless to say it was not quite accurately capturing the crowd so too bad for you all no pictures of this said crowd.

As 7pm neared a couple of Losties showed up, the first equally as confused as us to what this is all about in her mid to late 30s. She was one of those people who always tries to start up conversations with people they don't know. The second a super dork for the ages and clearly a repeat offender of this event. The crowd was looking grim and not at all as described in the metromix review. People continued to trickle in as we were forced to watch dancing with the stars in surround sound and in walked the king dork with his super sweet "Bolt", yes the Disney dog, shirt. The only possible way this could get better is if the table next too us reserved for 6 guys who "can't speak English but can read it" was some quorum of hot dutch supermodels. No such luck, they weren't bad looking, but not good looking (we were still the hottest things in the whole bar) and they were Russian.

Finally Lost started and man was it a good one, love that Desmond. And lucky for these jokers they stayed quiet the whole time so I didn't have to beat anyone. 4 beers and turkey sliders later it was over and Kiera and I walked home. Needless to say we won't be repeat customers.

Blame it on the rain...

Yeah I forgot yesterday, but like Milli Vanilli I am blaming it on the rain. I love stormy nights and I love nothing more then sleeping during them. So yes, I fell asleep with out posting my blog from yesterday.

So less than a week in I have already missed a day, too bad I can't back date this thing. But hey I am right back on the horse and that's what counts. My blog yesterday was going to be about how I recently started following Jesus on twitter (@Jesus). Needless to say the character behind this twitter is hilarious. I am a Catholic person but hey if you can't have sense of humor about religion it can be a very scary thing. For all of you twatters out there (that just sounds gross) follow @Jesus, its well worth your time. Case and point friday's tweet -"Just hanging around"- awful yet amazing all at once.

Today post is about how I had the most amazing thing just happen to me. It was almost like finding gold at the end of the rainbow. Comcast is giving me 25.76 back... Yes you heard right they are paying me, between this and the CTA I might just have died and gone to heaven. Too soon @Jesus? For all of you apartment dwellers out there I am hoping for some kind of credit to come to me from my landlord making it the perfect trifecta of amazingness. We shall see.

I am off to a "Lost" watch party at a bar tonight. I will have to see how it goes as normally when people talk during "Lost" I want to punch them in the face. So everyone cross their fingers that there will be no battery charges pressed tonight.

3 Weeks left in Chicago, I can't believe this is actually happening!

Sugar High

Kids on sugar should be monitored closely, I however am not a good guard at that gate. Instead I am currently watching "The Princess and The Frog" with two sobbing children coming off a serious sugar high.

I made my triumphant return to twitter today, and quiet frankly overwhelmed. There is no way I can read a month worth of tweets, so sorry twitter folk, I am just picking it up from now.

Cute line of that night, two year old Allison saying she wanted to sit next to me because "she just loves me so much". Makes the wailing slightly less agitating.

Happy Easter all!

Engagement Season

Another one bites the dust, I say this clearly as a joke because I am in fact very happy for my friends who are currently getting engaged. But what is it about late March/early April that sends people marching down the aisle. I get the Christmas/New Years engagements but I guess it could be that a lot of people start dating in the start of spring when we head out of winter hibernation so this I guess could explain the phenomenon. I've had 4 friends get engaged in the last two weekends.

It makes me begin to wonder, since college I have not dated 1 person for longer then about two weeks. Does this mean I have relationship ADD or perhaps am too judgy or impatient to just let things flow? I don't know, but being the girl that everyone thought would get married first I am certainly no where close to the top half of my friends. Am I happy or sad I have made that kind of commitment yet? I am not really sure. I feel immediately happy when my friends announce their engagements and then there is a bit of a sense of dread that I am perpetually single. I mean to be honest I would love to be at that stage in my life right now, but for whatever reason things just didn't go as planned. So instead I fall into the always the bridesmaid never the bride category as of late.

I can sympathize with the lead character in 27 dresses. For much of my adult life I have been in love with two people, both who I will never be with, so instead I have spent most of my time talking myself out of other relationships and keeping myself busy just helping other people get married. I have pointed out that I am in fact "Good Luck Chuck" every guy I have dated from high school on has married the girl he dated after me. Does this make me a lucky charm, a cursed person? I don't know. Needless to say for a girl who works at a Psychology School I certainly could take a trip down the hall to get this all sorted out.

But then there is the stubborn Irish woman in me that says, wait a tick, maybe I am just fine the way I am and haven't found Mr. Right. That could be in fact correct, but needless to say if I see one more status change on Facebook I might die... (okay that's dramatic) But it is starting to stink being in the back of the pack, my friends are entering a new and awesome stage in their adult life and they want to be friends with people in the same stage of life. I have seen it before with my older brothers friends. The few friends of his who are not married with kids yet feel somewhat left behind in perpetual young adulthood, (which I believe does have it's perks), but can end up looking like one of my second cousins who is 50+ and still acts 20 looking for the next gig (his photography career is still almost "taking off") and the next beer.

So on this Easter Eve, I ask all my readers out there (all 2-4) what are your thoughts on this subject, do you get excited when friends get engaged? Do you get enraged? Depressed? All I know is that I wish I had the excuse that my thriving career was taking up my time, instead my only excuse is I like to go out and get loaded with my friends (which I will never regret!).

So you thought I forgot did you...

Well I almost did but have now fear, I am here to blog you into boredom.

Last night I once again went out for some adult beverages with girl friends from work, only this time we stayed classy and went to a great river north Irish bar called The Kerryman. Lucky for us (and them) the beer special was too good to pass up. So we stayed, we drank, we judged girls going to Manor on a Thursday night looking like 10 cent hookers. Our waiter, who I called River due to his resemblance to the late actor River Phoenix, was a peach! Cute and chivalrous, he saved me from a near epic fall. Classic.

This afternoon we went to our new favorite Friday lunch spot Mafia Salads. No it's not really called Mafia salads we just call it that because it looks like it's front for some seedy extra curricular activities. Needless to say they make great salads, or if you are me a delicious "Grown Up" grilled cheese. We proceeded to people watch and I explained my mother's tendency to make up back stories for people she is people watching. For example, when we were kids and my parent would take us to Royals or Chiefs games my mom would tell us that all the concessions people were actually families and that the O'Riley family used to be the beer people but then they all had a drinking problem so now they are on peanut duty. And this explains why I grew up to be such a people watching enthusiast and can make up a back story for my fake alter-ego when out and about on town in moments.

We also discussed sibling fights and how entertaining they are especially as you age. We all agreed that the pinch and twist or the leg hair pull are the only way to combat older brothers and that we still get in silly fights with our siblings to this day. My older brother Joe and I got in to a fight a couple years ago (he was probably 23 and I was 21) over the remote and like the adults we were at the time I ran away with the remote with him in hot pursuit (mind you there is a tv in every damn room of my parents house.) Forgetting that my mom had just had the carpets cleaned we sailed through the living room in socked feet and proceed to continue on into the kitchen and boom, flat backed, cut to the both of us lying on the kitchen floor the remote in pieces. Needless to say I don't think siblings ever grow up.

Today its out to dinner with Emily and Kiera and then tomorrow I am out to Naperthrill to hang with my cousin and her kids one last time for Chicago Easter. There is no doubt hilarity will ensue.

All of that Rescue 911 as a kid has really paid off...

Happy April Fools, I haven't fallen for one yet but I know I am bound to. Quick post today since yesterdays might as well been the gospel from Easter Vigil Mass (Zing to all my Catholics out there).

Last night an incredible thing happened to me. I was minding my own business getting sauced on the patio at Mystic Celt when all of a sudden the guy at the table next me just kind of collapses and goes stiff, almost like he is having a seizure. Instead of being a yelling bystander like the rest of the patio I actually jumped into action calling 911 and relaying the man's condition to the very bitchy and not very calming dispatcher. Lucky for my patient there was a doctor on the other side of the patio and a nurse walking her dog by so they took over, therefore I didn't have to go into full Grey's Anatomy mode and preform an impromptu tracheotomy since that's what the do in those shows. Needless to say I was glowing from my good Samaritan role the rest of the night.

This morning I have already had my people watching moment. Chatchie Mc Doucherson hopped on the 22 bus right behind me this morning with his white on light grey seersucker suit (not memorial day yet pal) suit and Louis Vuitton briefcase and appeared to be yelling at me. I quickly realized it was not in fact me he was yelling at he was yelling at someone on his Bluetooth headset (I would personal like to slap the person who invented those). Of course of the 9 gazillion seats on the bus he choses to sit right next to me. He proceeds to yell about 26.78 that Comcast had put on his bill. I was like really that 27.00 set you back so much that you feel the need to berate the poor Comcast (only time I will ever use this) person. He then got pissed when a guy accidentally brushed his briefcase against Chatchie's shoulder. He stood up and yelled in the guys face to watch it and to try saying excuse me once in a while, he then yelled at the Comcast lady that he wasn't talking to her. When I went to exit the bus I made sure all three of my bags accidentally hit him in the face and stepped on his toe. He yelled I didn't look back or apologize I feel better about my day already.

I am back and this time it's for good.

So I made the big decision, I am headed back to Kansas City and Grad School in a few weeks and I must say not even the glorious return to spring Chicago is making currently is making me want to stay.

I was reading back through old post and decided that now that I will have more time and less disposable income I will have to start entertaining myself on the cheap and therefore I think blogging is a great way to start. I also watched Julie and Julia, pretty reluctantly I must say, but I myself am very much like Julie, a creative spirit who also happens to be a non-completer. So inspired by her effort to blog for 365 days I too am going to try to make this a daily routine. All two of my readers will most certainly laugh at this as they have followed this hodge-podge blog for sometime now and know how many times I have promised to blog more and then disappeared for 6-8 months.

In the spirit of changing some bad habits I will also be completing several things beyond this blog. Some of which include: my website, portfolio, and maybe a painting or two. All things I have been promising to do but never quite completed. I figure besides a lucrative nannying job and school I will have a much calmer social life so these things should fit in a wee bit better.

Another change I plan to make is to try to save up for my very own piece of the American Pie. This might come in the form a house, condo, or most likely trailer, but never the less I want to own someplace I can make my own. I have never been one for budgeting (see non-completer, active social life, and general lack self control in any of my blogs) so this will be a particularly hard task to complete. But I refuse to watch (ok maybe refuse is harsh) another design tv show or read a design blog and want to do something only to realize I will have to undo it in 6-12 months.

Most importantly I will be highlighting the more fun people watching side of this blog. People make for good blogging and I consider myself a stellar people-watcher. (I got it from my mom). When I people watch I don't just observe them in the natural habitat but start to form whole life stories for these people (also blame my mother for that one). Its part of the crazy overactive imagination I formed as a kid. I am utterly fascinated by people. What they do, say, think and most importantly wear.

For example today was the first day above frigid coldness in several months in Chicago, so I marched with my brown bag lunch (budget queen here) my copy of Catcher in the Rye (one of the things I never completed) to the river front to enjoy the glorious outdoors/ laugh at people in flip flops already. I was thoroughly enjoying the momentary solitude when click, click, click in came the stiletto crowd of PR ninnies with their matching salads with really smelly balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I know, I know, to them I probably looked like the side braided, Salinger reading, lame PB&J eating hipster, but i mean really we are all clinches in some way right. So I tried to block out the smell and ridiculous complaints over salary (ladies FYI 70,000.00 starting is about 35,000.00 more than I make after four years), and read my book and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. But I couldn't help but listen in on this conversation that got more outrageous as it went on. The girl in the center of the convo, let's call her Poppy (sounds uppity but you are forming a picture in your mind that fits, right?), who was really ticked that she was so under-payed, revealed that she had only been out of school for two months... I almost slapped her. Instead I looked at my cell phone (I never where a watch, never have probably never will) and realized my hour of freedom was up. Thank God. No battery charges or dropped salads.

So there is my people watch of the day, 12 more days of working for the man before freedom sets in. Wish me luck. (and by working for the man I should point out that I am mostly just making mix CDs for my friends instead of working...)

you can't always get what you want.

Great song, great message. I haven't blogged in over a year but am about to embark on some pretty drastic life changes in the coming months and thought why not blog about it. Thats what a blog is for right? Sorting feelings, updating the world on your inner turmoil, helping you to better understand why you do things or don't do things. I will warn you, this isn't my normal funny observation of life, this is not that, but it is what it is and I hope you will still read.

Looking back at my previous posts it is clear to anyone that I have had a great time living here in Chicago for the past 8 years. In an average week I laugh about a million times, I have endless access to culture and new experiences at my finger tips, I have great friends, and I live in a city that is both huge and small all at once. One might ask me, why are you even considering giving all of that up? I once had a good friend that told me "it doesn't matter how many great things you have in your life you will always want something unobtainable and it will drive you nuts. You have to sacrifice and sometimes that is just too hard to do." It's the whole theory behind the Rolling Stones song, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." That's the answer to the question why am I giving up what I have in Chicago. I am getting what I need. I need a career that means more than a paycheck, I need a life close to the people that matter the most, my family, and most importantly I need to grow up.

Most people don't get what its like going to school in a big city like Chicago, New York or L.A. and then immediately going to work in that same city. I always tell my friends who say I am crazy for wanting to trade Chicago for Kansas City the same thing "I have lived Chicago out, what you all forget is that while you were in Lawrence, Columbia, Manhattan, wherever I was here and have been here for 8 years." Imagine for one moment living in your college town for the rest of your life (no matter how big or small) it makes it hard to move on and gain new experiences.

In the end I honestly don't know what I will do, I know I have to make a decision in December, there is a lot on the table, moving back home and starting grad school, staying here and working another year at a meaningless job just to try and live out college for one more year, or who knows the peace corps have been looking good at the moment.

The bottom line is this, I am stuck, stuck in a meaningless redundant life. I do the same thing every damn day for no greater purpose or meaning. That my friends is one thing that I don't want to continue. I need something to change, I need something worth living in the redundancy, I may not be able to get what I want but I sure as hell hope to get what I need.

Thoughts, opinions, questions all are welcome.

"Anyone else think the Kanye sunglasses are kinda stupid? If I see any more hipster 12-year-olds with them I'm going to step on them."-Rex Chekal

Lollapalooza weekend, one of my favorite added bonuses of living in Chicago is the cost effective opportunity to see a lot of the bands I enjoy hearing right in the comfort of my backyard. Unfortunately the cold hard truth of being 25 hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend as I walked through a crowd hating on every day glow teeshirt, american apparel flashy tub top, and frat dog teeshirts wanting to take each person out preferably with the ability to snap my fingers and make them disappear or at least mute. Knowing I didn't want to drink and be hungover and hot for three days also proved as Helen E. would say "we are too old for this shit" but also provided an opportunity for me to better study great new bands out there.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate all hipsters and Kanye West lovers/ neon enthusiast, I just hate every trend done to an extreme. (Ehhmmm Girlicious Blayne from Project Runway anyone) I do hate annoying teens that mosh during Wilco or disregard basic festival etiquette. If you want to come hang with the big kids, do some research. Know the type of crowd that hits up certain shows, know that when you and your 5 best girlfriends plow through the crowd of people who have been waiting for hours to see a show (all the while screeching at the top of the lungs) know that I will want to trip you up for your complete lack of respect.

Now I am not some grinch who doesn't respect the fact that I was once an annoying teen out of my league. But I would have had to save for months to come to this sort of event (and still do). I also wouldn't waste the experience by getting so wasted in 90* heat that I have to be carried out of a crowd.

Ok stepping off the soap box to give you my highlights for the weekend:

* Gogol Bordello, Yeasayer, Jamie Lidell, Wilco and Radiohead had some of the top shows in my opinion.
* I saw a teeshirt that read "Too fat to be a hipster", I immediately wanted to barter for the shirt of the kids back.
* The porta-potties weren't unbearable and the lines weren't ridiculous.
* I was impressed with the recycling efforts and the fair priced food, drinks, and water.
*Fireworks during "Fake Plastic Trees" incredible.
* All the parents that brought their little ones, what an awesome experience and kuddos to putting up with kids in the heat to educate your children about great music.
* Rage Against the Machine's Zack de la Rocha telling people to chill the f' out because it was completely unnecessary to tear shit up, in fact its just meat-head of you to do.
* Bands thanking Radiohead for the big crowds, hilarious, slightly sarcastic and yet genuinely respectful.
*Bloc Party's lead singer wearing a Obama teeshirt.
* And finally Perry for putting this whole concept in motion and having it in Chicago, gives all us midwest folk a chance to hear some great music in a great venue.

and its going to be a long long time...

Opps, forgot I had this wonderful blog. Sorry for the delay in posting.... hmmm where to begin, where to begin. Ahh, lets begin with the great news that today is a summer Friday. What is a summer Friday you might ask... well its the greatest thing to happen to working America ever, thats right ever. Summer Fridays are the prize among prizes for working America, if you are lucky enough you receive Fridays off, if you are fairly lucky you get a half day, if you work for jp morgan you don't get squat (I kid I kid, to all my corporate pals).

I am part of the fairly lucky. Those who get the half day on Fridays and I will take it. And as I enjoy these half days of freedom, I pledge to do something great with them. Like going to a museum for an example, riding a bike outside, going to the grocery store when no one else is there, who knows maybe even fit in a day drink or two. Speaking of day drinks I need to grab a Bellini form Quarntinos soon. If you live in Chicago you gotta try those suckers, sooo good.

As summer has arrived I am thoroughly excited to live in this great city. Street festivals and live music every weekend, farmers markets, beach parties, you name it. It is the reward for all chicagoans that make it through the bitter winter.

So as I embark on my first summer Friday and long weekend, I promise at least one tale of hilarity upon my return. Needless to say this adventure:
http://www.galoscaves.com/_en/strona_opisowa.php will ensure at least 9 or 10 tales from the weekend.

Until next time, don't you go changin.

eeeek

that is the sound of me freaking out! with 1 month to my deadline to raise 1,200.00 more dollars than the 600.00 I have raised for the Avon Walk, I am in a bit of trouble, I need to raise 400.00 a week in the next three weeks. Ahhh...

On another note, I moved in to my new place and might I say laundry is my new best friend, yay free laundry!

Beth

Laughing out loud in my cubicle and more Monday morning thoughts.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/

This has made my entire Monday morning. Even though I had to wake up an hour earlier this morning (damn you daylight savings), this website has redeemed my reason for getting out of bed this morning. A couple of highlights that particularly made me laugh and then look around to make sure no one in my cubicle area saw me looking at a non-work related website.

From the website:
# 47 Art Degrees:

"White people can also take that degree and go to graduate school (future post) and eventually become a professor or adjunct professor where they will still require parental support.

If they are REALLY ambitious and need to make money, they can take that degree and go to Law School.

But the real reason white people need these degrees is so that they can sound smart at parties. Of course it trickles down to making connections, getting hired, knowing rich people, and so forth. But ultimately it all begins by saying “reading Henry James was the most rewarding part of undergrad.”"

# 38 Arrested Development (funny after my last post eh)

"If you are ever a white person’s house, and you see an orange box in their DVD collection, you should say “oh, you have Arrested Development, I love that show!” To which you will be offered a glass of wine, and perhaps an invitation to 80s night."

As a Chicagoan # 30 Wrigley Field is quite hilarious

"Liking the Cubs right now is trendy. They haven’t won a World Series since 1908, they are located on the North Side and celebrities like them. Bill Murray, John Cusak, and Hillary Clinton (although she flip flops between them and the Yankees) are all Cubs fans. One should keep up to date on things that are trendy in order to befriend more white people. ie) eating expensive Indian food, shopping Organic, or going on a wild rose detox. So for the upcoming season, try to know at least one player on the Chicago Cubs and defend Mark Prior at all costs."

and lastly but certainly one of the best picks:

#72 Study Abroad:

"It is also important that you understand the study abroad ranking system. Europe/Australia form the base level, then Asia, then South America, and finally the trump card of studying abroad in Tibet. Then there is the conversation killer of studying abroad in Africa. If you studied in Africa, it is usually a good idea to keep it quiet, it will remind white people that they were too scared to go and they will feel bad. Use this only in emergencies."

Check out the website for the full list. Seriously I highly recommend the read, incredibly entertaining. Although I am slightly upset they only featured Dave Eggers burried in a post about David Sedaris.

It's an illusion Michael, tricks are what hookers do... -Gob

So I am writing today with great excitement. Not only do I have a new apartment that is $200.00 less than the one I currently reside in, but it looks like one of the great sitcom apartments. You know like in Friends, the girls apartment, that there is no way in hell they could afford in real life and was clearly decorated by some hipster set designer. Yup, I am living that dream.

Also thanks to good old Helen E. I have discovered a new love during the writers strike, Arrested Development. No I wasn't cool enough to watch it way back when it was actually popular but at least the wrong has been righted and I can now enjoy the Bluth Family hi-jinks (is that how you spell hi-jinks anyways, oh well). Everyone already knows I have seriously mad crush on Michael Cera and Jason Bateman so this was bound to be gold. Needless to say I love Momma Bluth and her signature wink (see above) because it reminds me of my own mother dear old peg leg.

Back to the amazing apartment. I was going to attach some pictures but my work computer hates all forms of creative expression including music and photographs. (I blame it on the fact it is a PC). So pictures will come shortly when I can get back to my house and actually upload them to this here blog-thing. Needless to say it is pretty darn spectacular for the price and the location. Be very jealous of me. That's all for now, until next time remember "There is always money in the banana stand!"

Craigslist + Apartment Brokers = lies, lies, lies.

Apartment Search number 7. Yes 7 count em'. I have lived in this lovely city of Chicago and in those 7 years have lived in 7 different places. Include twice moving in a year time frame. I am soooo sick of scanning lying craigslist adds about apartments. When they say vintage they mean old p.o.s., when they say modern, they mean modern in the sense it was redone when dynasty was on tv and my all time favorite "loft like" because they knocked out one wall and your bedroom doesn't have a closet. How the hell does no closet and taking away a wall make it loft like. I've been in plenty of lofts with closets.

I lived on my own for 6 months, and although I thoroughly enjoy it, apparently making a good salary in Chicago doesn't mean you will live like you make a good salary. 1,000+ for a 1 bedroom is painstakingly impossible for me at this point in my life, and that excludes utilities. Yes I live in a nicer neighborhood, closer to public transportation and work, but honestly that is ridiculous. My brother advised me to buy a place. I told him that he was crazy, he just bought a 4 bedroom gorgeous restored 100+ year old home for what I would buy a shoe box, perhaps with my kitchen in another room, no guarantees.

Don't get me wrong even in the dead of hell winters in Chicago, I love this city, and the people in it. So I pay the price to live here. Which means having a roommate, who lucky for me is pretty cool, and realizing that I will never have a washer and dryer anywhere close to me. It's like that Sex and the City episode (sorry for the overtly girly reference) when Aiden says to Carrie: "Tomorrow the appliance guy comes to put in the washer/dryer." To which Carrie responds: "Oh, that's been my dream my whole New York life!" I don't think I will be living that dream anytime soon.

So instead of dreaming of a sweet loft in the south loop with my washer and dryer and heck lets throw in AC and a dishwasher, I am going to go search through the lies on craigslist and try to find a decent place. Hopefully one where you have a door between your shower and your bedroom.

New Year, New Job, New Apartment... oh the newness of it all!

So I quit my job. Realized I can't afford living alone. But hey it's the New Year so why not try things a little different. I am now into my second week at my 3rd job in three years. They say its a new trend in people of my generation to seek out better jobs, more competitive salary, and not to be as concerned about loyalty to one company or employer. My dad thinks this is horse shit, no really thats what he said, that's horse shit.

He is from the old school of thought were everyone needs to put in their time, do the entry level job, slowly work their way up to the top, knowing full well that it will take the 10 + years to get to a position in which respect comes naturally. I myself am not of that generation. I see opportunity and I take a chance. If I am not being respected for the hard work and intelligence I exhibit at work, well then it's not worth my effort and time to be there. Plus these companies that want you to be "loyal" to them, or not so loyal in return. We are in a time of layoffs, forced retirement, down-sizing and all different forms of cost cutting. Why would I be dumb enough to trust that I will always have a job with one singular company when the news makes it abundantly clear that it may not really be the case.

Anymore in the working world you can be screwed over, even in what I thought would be the nice world of non profit orgs where people play nice with each other. The same b.s. going on in corporate America is going on in the non profit world. Jealousy and money win over honesty and teamwork.The non profit world is slowly falling victim to corporate influence. I remember the day I sat down in my female boss's office and she handed me a book about how female executives can work together to build fortune 500 companies. What? I worked at a University, I was 24 and certainly not an executive.

A funny realization came to me this weekend while lying on my couch with a bad case of bronchitis and watching the 80s hit "Working Girl", my boss was the character played by Sigorny Weaver. Terribly threatened by other women working their way up, but want to play the "let's be the best girlfriends ever" card to make you think you are going to help each other out. I left that job because I was sick and tired of the generation of women and men that are in leadership roles that would rather sink their entire team than let anyone know they are vulnerable.

I now work for a new boss, also a woman, but from a different generation. A generation that recognizes hard work and integrity as a ideal characteristic in their subordinates and not as a threat. She looks up to me as much as I look up to her. She encourages me to run with ideas, and doesn't turn around and steal the credit for them. It is refreshing to say the least, to find out that there is still some people working in this world that see individual with potential and want them as part of their team, not to squash them but to inspire them. This is the kind of team I can see myself being loyal to. One that I can see sticking with long term.

So this is the new year... and I don't feel any different.

Oh to be truly emo... Then my title would be the greatest. The truth is that the title is a load of crap. No really, I feel very different. I feel like 2007 was the year of panic mode, I was in a panic about anything and everything. I didn't breath for the months of May or December. The rest of the months, I was half breathing, like when you have a cold and its not really working.

It's amazing the power of unsubstantiated fear. Fear that you are for sure, without a doubt, on the chopping block at work, although it hasn't been said. Fear that you will die alone because thats what happens to women once they hit 25 and are single (according to the general public and your grandmother). Fear that you are on your own with out the training wheels for the first time and that if you fall, you will undoubtedly fall hard. What people forget about is that sometimes when you fall you get back up, dust yourself off, or maybe if you are lucky you might have someone unexpected who catches you.

I have some great friends and a terrific family. Yet I, like many, was consumed by the fear of failure and reluctant to take chances. Yesterday that changed. I completed a phone interview for a job that would send me to a different country, a country that I am familiar with and love, but still far away from my great friends and terrific family. The job is one I may be under-qualified for but I applied anyways. As I sat on the call, I felt like for once, I was doing something that could change my life. The last time I felt that way is when I left 4 years ago to embark interestingly enough on a study abroad program in the very country I was currently calling.

This country has been for most a land of poverty, starvation, and completely lacking opportunity. However, since the 1990s that has changed and those that left due to the hardships they faced are starting to come back. Not necessarily those same people, but their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren etc. Now I look at this country and I see nothing but opportunities. It is in some strange way the perfect metaphor for my life in transition from the old year to the new one.

This change in my outlook, is thanks predominantly to my good friend Kelli, who simply reached over and turned off the panic button. She did this through patient listening, a positive outlook, and a good example. She is one of the friends I have met in the last six years of my life that has truly made an impact. Not one that is obvious, she is anything but obvious, but the behind the scenes friend who scrapes you off the floor after a fall, dusts you off and then tells you to get back on the f'ing bike and keep rolling with the bumps. I don't think I have thanked her enough or for that matter, been the best friend I could be to her. Something I plan to change in the year ahead.

With 2007 out the door and 2008 starting off with a blank page, I hope that by the time I hit that quarter century of life mark in June, I can honestly say I have made a change for the better. Resolutions are meant to be broken, I do not plan on making any of those. I plan on opening my ears listening for once... Really listening, not the kind of listening you do when your boss is critiquing you or your parents are lecturing you. However, I do plan to listen to my critics more openly, the only way to truly know yourself is through how others see you.

P.S. Anyone catch Obama's victory speech from Iowa? Everyone is feeling the change...

The end of the internet

You know when people always say they have reached the end of the internet, I know they are lying but I understand the underlying meaning. Today I reached the end of the internet. Yes by 10:03 am just 2 hours into my work day I have reached the end of the internet. Why/ How you might ask? The answer is simple, I ran out of videos on funny or die, tina (the youtube sensation) set her videos to private, oh and I watched the latest Clark and Michael video.

Everyday people go to work, and in most cases are severely under stimulated by their work. In my case, my normally fairly interesting job has recently hit a snag. I ran out of work to do, I am in fact too productive. So like many of my fellow workers of the world I turn to the internet for some entertainment. I always hit bestweekever.tv first. For those of you who have not discovered this blog you need to. I go there because the editors speak my language. They have the right balance of quick wit and gross humor. I then normally follow their links on a continued search for entertainment.

I blame funny or die's "The Landlord" for elevating my internet entertainment to such a snotty and hard to please place. For those of you who have not seen it, just go now and watch it. For those of you who have and are offended, this is not the blog for you. Pearl is both cute and hilarious, and its just plain fun. Kind of like Michael Cera, he is someone you look at and think man where has this guy been hiding, apparently in plain site on the internet, or in a small big screen hit Superbad. Thanks to my procrastination mixed with a lack of work to do, I have discovered a whole new world of internet stars.

With the writers strike f'ing with my tv schedule I turn to the trashy world of tmz.com and mtv reality shows for entertainment. Clearly I am underwhelmed. So then I retreat to the internet, normally reserved for work hour desperation only. I understand the point of the writers strike, don't get me wrong, but man I didn't realize how much my brain depended on that 1/2 hour sitcom or full hour drama to get me through the week. Now every night will be tuesday night, and everyone knows there is nothing worth watching on a tuesday night. Boredom may even drive me to work out, which is both frightening and shocking.

Thank God for the internet, because so far it has gotten me through the week moments where I almost become... dare I say... un-american, in the fact that I am no longer glued to a tv, dependent on trashy news, or hooked to some hilarious youtube video. It might actually force me to become social again. Imagine that, talking to people face to face, no cell phone or google chat between us. Frightening I know.

In the end I don't know whether to thank the writers for striking, yell at best week ever to step up on the post for my entertainment only, or to perhaps take some initiative and maybe go above and beyond the call of duty at work. What I do know is this, I have way to much time on my hands and someone better help me find a damn hobby, anyone know how to whittle?

How could I forget the Ultimate Fighters

And for your viewing pleasure, the lost night at Carol's with the Ultimate Fighters:

Beth having a deep convo with the fighters

One of them flicking off the camera, while I tried to capture the one cool guy

Flexing their brains... I mean muscles...Midsize truck take one
Midsize truck take two